Hello Auntie, how's your Cancer?

14th May '08

Sorry for not updating you all sooner after our visit to the surgeon last week, I know lots of you have been in touch for updates. Despite five days in hospital doing very little, I finally came home late on Wednesday feeling very, very tired. In fact so tired that I've been heading to bed soon after the children most nights.

Some of this tiredness I put down to being away from home, Russell and children, but mostly I think it was because I was being woken at midnight, 2am, 4am & 6am for either my temperature to be checked or drugs to be given! Anyone who says they sleep like a baby, obviously either doesn't have a baby or hasn't stayed in hospital recently! I was warned the tiredness of chemo was cumulative and it certainly feels that way, so I'm thinking the next six or so weeks I may be doing lots of resting & not too much else.

The visit to the surgeon was very positive. She believes that my tumour has finally started to shrink, probably in part because of the Taxotere, but most likely in conjunction with the Herceptin (a monoclonal antibody if anyone's interested), which hopes to block the cells ability to reproduce (hope I've got that right!)

The plan tomorrow is to proceed to my fifth chemo cycle, and in three weeks to the sixth & final cycle assuming there is still a positive change in tumour size & cancer cell markers. It's been just three months since I was diagnosed, but in that time the GP appointments, chemo, blood tests and district nurse visits have all become a new kind of normality. It's strange how quickly we've all adapted to the shift

Freya is a very competant "nurse"with her very specially adapted nurse kit. It's been added to by Joanne, my district nurse, and when Mummy has blood tests, it's Freya who has the plaster! I hope she's the only little girl who tells everyone who'll listen that "Mummy has a poorly boobie", and looks rather quizically when people take medication orally, but I suspect not.

Morgan is coming on in leaps & bounds ... well actually it's crawling & babbling! He's mastered DaDaDad & NaNaNan, why is MuMuMum always last, that boy has no loyalty!

I will try and be more vigilant in keeping you all up-to-date, but please be reasurred that no news really is good news, and I will get a round tuit soon!

6th May 08

It's been a few days since I last updated you all, and this email will probably be the hardest to write, not because I have bad news, but because I am writing it from hospital on one of the patient-line terminals ... technology, but not as we know it Jim!

Prior to my last dose of chemo, I'd arranged to meet again with my oncologist as I was rather concerned my tumour wasn't "behaving" the way we'd anticipated. Dr. Stewart did a great job of putting my worries aside, and suggested that we continue with the Taxotere as prescribed and add in the Herceptin, and that she'd review things after another week with a view to bringing forward my surgical date.

Chemo morning dawned bright, and as I was expecting my hospital transport by 8am, I was ready by 7.30 ... be prepared I was always told! In actual fact, by the time George collected me, he'd already done one round trip to Northampton & back with the radiotherapy patients, so I actually arrived at my echo appointment an hour late. This didn't phase the staff at all, and I was soon seen and dispatched, which my notes sealed in a paper bag (nosey? Me?) to the oncology suite.

Once there, things slowed considerably, but that's no bid deal, I just enjoyed the company of my fellow Cancer Fighters! Eventually my treatment was finished by about 6.30pm, but not suprisingly most of the staff, including the lovely George, had finished for the day, so I was transported home courtesy of a local taxi firm in style. Despite my very long day and the fact I had to take a packed lunch it all passed rather well and gave me renewed hope the chemo might start clobbering the tumour.

The first week after chemo is always the hardest. The relentless exhaustion, the upset tummy and the defunct tastebuds all add up to make a grumpy Rebecca, add into the mix the worry about the chemo not working & planning for surgery and I'm sure I was pretty unbearable some days, but I'm sure those of you who know me well will overlook the temporary loss of humour.

By day seven I was starting to feel much better, the sun was shining and a bank holiday weekend stretched ahead with birthday celebrations, little did I realise I wouldn't be joining them.

Saturday was the usual mix of swimming for Russell & Freya, and shopping for Morgan & I. I managed to fill the morning with buying myself some new pyjamas for my upcoming stay in hospital, and a new smaller camera so that I didn't always have to carry my big SLR around to the park. When I got home, and the children were safely having their afternoon nap, I asked Russell to check my Hickman line site, which was a little uncomfortable, never actually expecting there to be any cause for concern. In fact the site was a little red and sore looking, so I rang our out-of -hours doctors to get some advice.

Despite my careful explaination about my diagnosis, and chemotherapy the doctor was typically underwelmed, and was equally unmoved when I told him my temperature was 37.5. He said he would leave a prescription for Russell to collect, but didn't need to check me over at all. I was horrified by his lack of concern, so disconnected the call and dialed through to the oncology ward at Northampton, their response was very different, and so the Bed & Breakfast stay began!

By the time I was seen on Talbot Butler my temperature was 37.9, and my blood tests showed me to be neutrapenic which mean't it was more difficult to fight infections than usual. They arranged for me to start on IV anti-biotics and be admitted, I finally reached my bed on the gynae ward at 1.30am, but the perk of being a chemo patient is getting a single en-suite room, where my biggest threat is bordem!

Today is two days since I was admitted, and to be honest it's not been too bad. Russell, the children, my parents, sister and nephew have visited so I've been in good company. The antics of a busy ward have kept me amused, including the young lady who came in for routine admission, and refused her lunch (and eventually self discharged), because she had to wait to see a doctor who was delayed performing an emergency c-section! The food isn't The Ritz, but then I came here to get better, not get fat. My white blood count has increased from 0.3 to 0.7, and after huge doses of Meropenem and Teicoplanin my temperature is stable. I'm hoping I'll be allowed home on Wednesday in time to see the surgeon to make plans for my operation.