15th October '08

Gosh, it's been so long since I last updated you all, doesn't time fly when you're having fun!

I am now about five weeks post radiotherapy, and beginning to feel "back to normal" whatever that might actually be. The last week of radiotherapy was really tough, the tiredness really seemed to set in and yet the sleepless nights remained ... I think someone somewhere was having a joke at my expense.

Not only does radiotherapy make you immeasurably tired, but it also leaves you with a rather uneaven suntan. It wasn't until almost the end of my treatment that I realised I had a sunburned oblong across my chest, reaching from under my arm to across the middle of my chest. On the whole, apart from being a little sore, the biggest complaint was the peeling, which was calmed by ever increasing ammounts of aqueous cream. Time in the radiotherapy suite, must be rather like time in the air-raid shelters during the war. Each morning as we waited for our names to be called, we swapped bad jokes and gallows humour. On occassions when the machines broke down, or were being serviced, the call went up for boiled sweets and new magazines ... after a month there really aren't many you haven't read. I met some amazing people, all of whom, like me were crossing off the days on their appointment cards, and all I hope I'll never need to see again.

With radiotherapy finished, and the tiredness slowly subsiding, it seemed fitting to "get on" with things, so what better than to enrole in a college course? With Mum along for some moral suppport, we went along and joined a silver-smithing course. You might well ask why we picked something so obscure, well to be honest, I'm not really sure, but I'm glad we did. It's good fun, and amply fills our Tuesday mornings.

The end of September saw an abundance of chocolate cake around chez Collins, as Mum & Russell both celebrated their birthday's. It seems Morgan particularly has a liking for sticky cake, and enjoyed sharing it, not only with Freya, but also the cat, his hair, ears & the floor! The first weekend of October gave Russell & I a well earned weekend away whilst Nan & Grandad looked after the children. Amazingly the sun shone for two of our three days, and Russell left his laptop at home ... I'm not sure which was more unusual! Two days of good sleep, food and company, and we were soon home refreshed to two happy children and I'm sure, two tired Grandparents. One thing cancer has taught me is not to take things for granted, especially our loved ones, but with the frantic pace of life it's easy to forget how important the small things are.

After much arranging and planning last weekend I went away alone to a Young Women's Breast Cancer Forum. As much a chance to share thoughts and ideas with other women as to learn new things about treatment and surgery options. On the darker days, when I questioned "why me?" it was often in respect to how my life with cancer affected Russell and our children, but the weekend made me so greatful to have them at all. Some of the women there were less fortunate. Some had failed marriages to thank breast cancer for, whilst others, just in their early twenties, might never get the chance to experience having a family.

Monday saw eight months since my diagnosis pass, and on Tuesday the children wore pink to nursery to raise awareness for breast cancer. Everywhere the shops seem full of pink & fluffy things to raise, sadly though they seem less keen to show the true face of cancer. This morning, almost (but not quite) on a whim, I decided to enrole for the Playtex Moonwalk 2009. By the time I'd refreshed my computer screen for almost an hour & a half, all the places for the full marathon were gone, leaving only the half marathon spaces free ... relieved? me? never! So on May 16th I shall be doing my bit to support breast cancer research, and will be asking you all to dig deep in supporting me too. I have a page set up for donations, www.bmycharity.com/Evelina so you might like to check it out for later.

Novemeber sees Freya's third birthday, and the run up to Christmas ... but more of that next time!