17th April '09

Last treatment finished, and Hickman line out, there really is a light at the end of the tunnel, and for once it isn't an oncoming train!

February will always, I suspect, be a tough month. Anniversaries are either celebrations or commiserations, and my February will always be a strange mix, with our wedding anniversary being over shadowed by remembering when I was diagnosed. Maybe Russell & I should get married again ... or take the cheaper option and just choose another date to celebrate?

First anniversaries are always the most raw, as memories are so fresh, and for me much of the month was taken over by tests and waiting for results. My annual check up resulted in me being sent for a CT scan, and of course there is always the annual mammogram. For the younger ladies out there, it's a pleasure you'll just have to look forward to, but I won't spoil the surprise! I've often said that cancer long after it's gone, still lives on in your brain, little seeds of doubt that eat into your subconscious making mountains out of molehills and secondary cancer out of an annoying tickly cough. I'm hoping that as time goes on my sense of proportion will return, but think that February will be tough for a long time.

March saw all of us with trips to hospital, and both children had a visit to the ophthalmology department. Morgan had the first visit where despite having stingy drops to dilate his pupils, he was the perfect patient. The feedback wasn't quite so good though, when they told us he is very short-sighted, something with is apparently rare in babies & children, and prescribed him his first pair of very cute glasses. The upshot being that they wanted to do a more thorough examination under anaesthetic to exclude there being any nasty pathology behind his diagnosis.

Whilst we waited for Morgan's GA appointment, Freya was also assessed, and equally co-operative, but thankfully found to be just slightly long sighted which is normal for small children. The next day we were back at Milton Keynes at 7.30am for Morgan's GA. Morgan was a total star, and despite all the other children being quite upset and sleeping after their anaesthetic, Morgan was soon up and about and charming all the staff, as he played on the floor by the nurses station. The examination confirmed his prescription, but that they couldn't find anything extraordinary to be at the root cause, so glasses seem to be the way forward. He's taken to wearing them really well, and in the month since he's had them, we've only been back to the opticians twice for them to be repaired, which I'm told is very good!

Easter week arrived, and plans were made for things to do, but suddenly everything shifted when my Hickman line site became red & inflamed. Blood cultures confirmed that I had a line infection, and I was prescribed industrial oral antibiotics, as well as twice daily IV antibiotics which they administered at the MacMillan centre at MK. Why is it that these things always happen at the weekend, or worse still a bank holiday? My oncologist, surgeon & microbiologist, all pulled strings to get the line removed as soon as possible, and Thursday saw me laying head-down on an operating table, whilst they removed it. In truth it was no big deal, and I chatted to the surgeon all the way through the procedure (no surprise there, I hear you say), and all I've been left with is one stitch, and a small scar.

Easter weekend saw a mix of weather and a fun day out with family to the races at Market Harborough. Despite being a drizzly day, the children all had a fantastic time chasing each other and playing tag, although Morgan did struggle somewhat with walking on such a steep hill. The plan is to return again next month to celebrate Liz & Simon's birthdays, so we're hoping for more sun and less mud next time.

The down side of the line being removed was that I still had one more treatment and no veins to be seen. My lovely district nurse was almost taking bets on getting called to assist my chemo nurse I think! As it was, it took two nurses, and four attempts to site my line, but at least they managed it, and now it's all done. The day of my last herceptin was finished off nicely by the Easter bonnet parade at nursery. I'm sure many Mummies had spent hours covered in glue & string, feather & fluff to give their offspring something to wear, I certain know I did! Freya & Morgan both wore papier-mâché hats, Freya's shaped like an egg, and Morgan one decorated line a hot cross bun. Despite fierce competition, both children "won" their year groups ... Proud? Moi?

So, what's for the future? My training for the Moon walk is now reaching its maximum, and I'm quite comfortably managing almost ten miles without trouble. I've done most of my training with my good friend Gareth, who as a good honest Yorkshire-man, will always tell me if he thinks I'm slacking! Following a back injury, Russell's not done much training, but as he's generally pretty fit anyway, I'm sure he'll do just fine ... one month to go now so the count down begins!

If anyone would like to sponsor me, on my walk ... come on, you know you want to, a link to my fundraising page is www.bmycharity.com/Evelina and every penny really does help, so don't forget about gift aid.

Next time, I write will be after my walk ... assuming I complete it of course!